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im free...... flying like a bird.... with no wingspotong steam right.... haha
anyway finally first term examz are over....
to tell u the truth its so not like form 1 to form 3 examz at all
normally last day chilling di...... (its always kh thats why)
now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
history and add maths...
i mean HELLO!!!!!
can it be like any worse...
i think im going to die in history paper and BM.....
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i wrote out of topic i think.........
oh no........ >HELP ME PLZ<
going to sob sob sob sob really really soon....
i dun wanna die... its just the firt term and im already struggling like mad....
now examz are over......
i dun feel happy... no feelings at all...
its like..... what if and so on....
i mean i dun wanna have a red mark in my report card book.....
all i love to do is laugh at you....hahahaha....
legin and neal doesnt know who i like....
wakakaka....
actually lamby and all the other ppl doesn't know.... isn't it sad....
i like......................
chocolate... nah im just fooling around since i dun know what else to blog about....
lets see.....
ill be blogging bout err what i did for my cny???
hmm... i did stuff....
sleep, eat, watch tv, surf the net, chit chat with ppl, visiting, fooling around, hang out with friends since we're all too bored....
ordinary stuff....
anyways... k la....
for legin..........................
i like..................................
myself.... im serious now....
i tell u i dun like anyone u say i lie.....
then i tell u someone.... tembak shj...
u dun believe....
what u want me to do leh.....
k la k la... i shall now tell u who i like legin............
its..............
really him...
u better read this and dun get the wrong person again...
kesian u...
think whole day who your sister like.............. haha
this shows how bored i am....
take your undang test soon... cuz i want u to drive me
~smilez~
you....all i want is to be with
you
 but will you take me??
what happen??Happy friendship day ppl!!
i know im a day later... oh well....
hope u'll all have a wonderful year....
and to guet cheng, zhao wen and audrey happy birthday!!!
i know its a bit early.... but its better to do so....
anyways................................
thx for all the gifts.... u guys are the best..... dun wanna mention names... but thanks a lot......
i miss u guys so much....... at least yesterday i got to talk to you guys during debate..............
and happy chinese new year......
hope ang pow will be big this year for all of you guys.....
~smilez~
happy happy happy!!!Im here to blog about.......................
my good friends birthday.... i barely have the time to talk or even say hihi to her... sorry manda....... so i hope this will pay off.... hehe
happy happy happy birthday to you amanda!!
i know im super hyper today.... can't blame me.... anyways take care manda.....
i miss you
 it just goes on and ondoes life have to be so mean??
i'm getting sick of this world!!
all i ever wanted is to live a simple life... what am i facing now???
one after another!!!
i don't wanna live anymore...
i don't wanna be me....
i don't wanna be with you....
i don't wanna think bout you anymore...
i just don't want to think about anything!!
i cant focus on my studies....
i just can't live without you...
i just cant..........................
and i don't want to think about you..............
i don't want anything.....
can't you just leave me freaking alone????
but not in the dark....
the brightest place you are able to find???
no point wasting my breath....
why??
cause you don't give a damn bout me...
if i rot...
u'll say... so what
if i die...
u don't give a damn bout it....
why am i still thinking bout you then???
i just don't get it
i miss being my old self again!!! im gonna lose it pretty soon....
calling 911 for help.... the truth is...what comes to the first thing in your mind? The truth, the way and the light?
anyways... words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault of thought on the unthinking
 people often complain,
what a small world we've got,
but for me,
i rather have it small,
and meet you than having
it so big but missed knowing you.
relationship often ends,
we don't know why we like a person after a while,
without knowing why we love to jump into comclusion,
thinking me and you will last long,
but in my heart, my little voice in it says,
don't do it! it will hurt in the end.
every happiness always ends with tears,
the greater the joy, the greater the sorrow.
you think life is always getting better,
quit thinking that because it will only disappoint you more,
you think a rock hit you hard enough,
the next thing you know,
a bigger rock had just hit you.
life will always be different,
it just keeps getting worse and worse,
you think you're doing alright,
but open your eyes and see the rest,
you'll realise you're not doing well enough,
try harder?
the result will only disappoint you.
i myself have been hit many a times,
not once, not twice but million of times,
not a rock, not anything small,
but it's a bus,
sometimes,
being alone isn't a thing you want,
but do you have a choice?
~love being someone else... but being myself will always be the best~
i rather be hated for who i really am than being someone im not i miss my friends!!well all form 4 undergo the same process and feelings...
we get spilted after form 3... most of us actually...
so the following people is the one i miss the most...
All in all.... i miss the porcupine clan so much.... not neal =P since i still have him in my class... hehe
does life have to be this cruel??well life was great at first... finally getting myself together...
got straight A's for PMR... which is pure luck but keep hearing people say yeah right and stuff... do i look like a person that is lying??
even if i am... u can see straight from my eyes... but im not...
just got to know my class... im in belian... see how sad... my close friends all went to balau...
me... alone... wanna make friends also super hard...
same class with my cousin... lol... cursing away... just hoping not to be with him...
aiyoyo... really got him...
school started... what a bad start already.. me sitting down here thinking about form 3...
wa its just an awesome year i don't mind repeating at all... seriously!!
people are willing to help me... haha without my friends...
i wont even bother to study... with their help... TADA
like magic only.... now that im all alone....
just myself living in darkness... sigh...
no hope at all.... camp...it's christmas day!!! wondering why im not celebrating??
just finished celebrating with only one more other family...
see how boring it is... christmas isn't really christmas for me this year...
somemore i got no present... so jahat my parents didnt even care of getting me anything...
use to it already lar anyway
nothing seems like christmas to me this year...
anyways im not here to blog bout chritmas since i don't feel like it...
camp was like only 3 dayz lor...
really funny to me... cuz i hardly talk... hahahaa... so not like me...
shy mah... malu u know...
 ppl so dunno me in that camp man.... they think im just sooo quiet....
hehe... overall camp was great... it's different from the others lor...
the jungle trekking was a bit irritating... wondering why??
stop go stop go...
gosh man... somemore raining plus i wasn't feeling too good either...
4 freaking hours... and it was soaking wet...
i got leech bite
guess where?? leg... nah nvm lor...
but my butt also have... hahahaha cool right...
that's all for now.... till then...
can't i be someone else??everyone thinks life isn't fair... well, it's ture to me...
because things often gets the other way... not the way you wanted things to be...
somehow being someone else makes you feel better...
but being yourself has it's advantages...
maybe you're shy? and you wanna be well-known...
think again... when everyone knows you...
you do something wrong... people will start disliking you... whereas... is you're shy...
no one really notice...
the best is be true to yourself and everyone can see the light shinning upon you...
after all, you can judge which is your real friend...
when things doesn't go as plan... hard times...
you'll realize which friends is always there to share your pain that you're going through...
that's only call a friend that cares....
i'm really lucky to meet my friends... because when im feeling down they were always there to pick me up...
if you haven't find one... don't worry... because i got your back
i'll be always there when you need a pal... all you need is just to ask me...
life isn't always the way you want it... things can't be undo...
words that have been said can't be taken back...
just remember everyone makes mistakes... so if you want to point a finger towards other people accusing them for making a mistake...
why not give them a second chance?? even if it doesn't work... give another...
don't ever give up trying...
every second chance begins with a first step... never take that away from anyone...
~when you feel lonely and don't belong in the world... i'm always feeling that way... so you will never be alone~ speechlessi really have nothing to blog anymore...
every single day... i'm just living my life... as a ordinary girl...
 came back from atria... i saw a very nice book...
too bad i didnt bring money so i could not buy it... 20 bucks only
the book is sooo nice and sooo cheap... im deadly serious...
from 80+ discounted till 20?? why not...
its about wording art sort of thing....
*sigh* anyway im not here to post about the book...
more of how boring i am till i have nothing better to do...
sitting down doing nothing... wow could life be anymore worse??
i think it can...
anyways just watch a couple of movies again...
somehow i never get bored for a few movies...
mostly fairy tales... why?? because i rather live a life in a fantasy world than reality... there's more joy and laughter....
class party.....well.... it was port-luck so..... i followed someone there... when i reached...
saw my frenz already in the pool... and it was about 7 di....
boring right!!
then when i put the food down... guess who i saw??
the gang that is superb quiet in my class...
and i under estimate them not to turn up because i tot they wouldnt come for functions...
then i recieve the most shocking news of my life... like OMG!!!
why him of all things???
one of the member in the porcupine clan is dating someone...
lol... nevermind... anyways back to the party... the responds was great i guess bout 20+ ppl
highlights of the day
PC fairchaos... lol... super sad had to walk bout four rounds.... came back tired... argh!!! dont even know why i followed in the first place... hehe guess i was just too bored at home... i dun understand why.... my father went on friday... bought other stuff he wanted... sunday we went again.... still that long... bout seven hours of standing.... i think thats seriously crazy.... wanted to buy another Mp4... parents didnt let... cuz mine haven spoil YET!! now what shall i get for christmas???
*the fullfillment is always in the wish* back from Port Dicksonnothing much happen there...
3 days... now im at home again...
can u find a hotel with DVD player?? hell no!!
mine has... and how?? cuz my dad brought it...
kinda make the room into cinema =)
that's what i love.... watch movie till i went nuts...
now so tired... *sigh* back to my old life....
where it is pretty boring... hmm the beach was fun... saw ppl playing beach volleyball...
looks sooo fun... wish i could play... too bad no one was there to play at that time...
friends....Friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship- never
Porcupine clan-
Violet-> A girl that never runs out with ideas to make you smile even when you are feeling really down. She is a super daring person. Does anything she wants without fears.
Soo Ern-> A little shy at times but knows when to shine. An extremly sweet and loving person. Loves God with all her heart. (can't make her do anything bad at all)
Zhao Wen-> Really really a genius. One word, BOOKWORM. She's not kiasu according to her. To me... She's kiasi. Don't even want to lose to anyone. Think she is happy that Lester is actually leaving school.
Amanda-> Funniest girl ever. Knows how to be happy always. Lauging without even knowing why. Isn't it chun??
Zoe-> Knows all the current news. You don't have to have anything besides her if you want to know what is going on anywhere or whoever.
Nigel-> Optimistic ASS. Has his own mind on how to make things work. A guy that never makes me bored and always cheering me up with quotes and lyrics. For the final time... I prefer Bo Bice to carrie still. (Got to admit Carrie's song has a better meaning just to cheer me up a little)
Neal-> Computer addict. Can't live a life without a computer. Does anything for a girl. I'm deadly serious. You should try. My charm and annoy-ness works for sure. hehe. He seems bad at the outside. Get to know him. You will find him different.
Life wasn't meant to be like this!! You've made me realize things i didn't even want to know
life without you is meaningless to me life isn't anything to me without you... when u were around... things were very different
now... that you are really gone...
without a word from you??
is a very big change for me
i know you have been away like a mile...
but the memories...
even if im trying to forget about it... and its been a long long time already...
i still cant... and i dont know how am i suppose to do it...
tears has been all over my face...
crying will not bring you back...
hope and faith will... at least a chance...
life continueswell... SPM is gonna start really really soon...
nothing to do with me though...
getting along with my life a little better each day...
trying to forget about u... if u can do it...
i bet i can... =)
becoming positive thinking...
which is better.... tears of sadnessMe?? world?? CLUELESS
 any connection?? never thought of it... why??
because it always ends up with tears over flowing...
sitting here... waiting... wondering.... will you ever come back...
how pathetic
 i always thought of it...before this... i gave my heart doing every single thing...
now here i am... always thinking about u only....
wondering why must it end like this... im not even sure of everything....
left without saying a word isn't the best thing to do...
things have not been great lately... but running away without a word??
 wow... that's something to think about.... u always said think about how u are...
what position i have put u into... did u ever think about me that way??
rumours can't be help.... u can't change any....
so why are u so worried to be where i am now??
my life ain't that great.... i bet u know that...
still just wondering why must it be like this....
hope u understand me more....
lots of luv....  this is for you....Memories that we both built together,
Memories of what we shared together,
Now all the sweet memories is gone,
Nothing good is within myself.
We said hello tons of times,
We said goodbye much more than we wanted,
Leaving you is my worse nightmare,
But being with you isn't the greatest thing to do.
Rather be with someone,
That know me a lot,
Being beside you,
Makes me wanna get to know you more.
All good things must come to an end,
What kind of world are we living in today?
All i wanted was to be happy,
With someone special that always makes me smile.
 You left without saying goodbye,
I was waiting for you without any complains,
You wasn't sure you can handle it,
But remeber i did warn you.
You didn't want to let me go,
Nor keep me by your side,
You know it isn't fair,
I have no idea what you want.
I hardly talk nor speak,
When i were there beside you,
Words that came out from my mouth,
It hurts you even more.
 You know I'm shy when i see you,
It's just wonderful seeing you,
I rather write my feelings down,
Than to tell someone how I'm feeling now.
You've asked many questions,
Some I didn't want to answer,
But since it was you im talking to,
I've answer most of your questions.
Seeing you with someone else,
Makes me wanna cry,
I kept my feelings and showed none to you,
I just don't want things to end. |
now i barely even say hi to you anymore... *sigh* prefect... and the jobs...
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